Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize
