Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
