it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
