..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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