How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
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you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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