I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
