I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
