Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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