And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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