toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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