dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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