I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
