I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
