The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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