Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
