if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Randomize
