I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
