The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
