margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
