Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
