That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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