it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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