Its about making memories worth repressing
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
