I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
