I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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