This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
