Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
