Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
