she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
