took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
