The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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