There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
