Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
