What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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