I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I want to fling myself into the sun
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize