We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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