when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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