I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
