The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
