Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize