I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?