i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
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I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
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One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me