took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS