wake up i wanna do it froggy style
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
