wat bout pragnant strippers??
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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