Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
