I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
