I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
