sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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