He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
