Sacagawea was the original milf.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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