i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
do herpes really smell.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
