So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
