I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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