i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
