Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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