I'm so fucking centered right now
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
