Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
