i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
