ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Randomize
