oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
