My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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