I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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